K, I'm posting this on Facebook too. I'm also planning on asking advice from all my neighbors, the checker at the grocery store and the squatters living under the freeway overpass. I'm desperate.
My sweet 4 month old, Fiona typically falls asleep using one of these 3 methods: 1. In her swing with little to no fussing. 2. While nursing with no fussing. 3. While being rocked in my arms while twisting, arching her back, and screaming bloody murder. This carries on from 5-20 minutes before she conks out. When option 1 or 2 aren't available, option 3 is torture.
How did you sleep train your babies? I don't like the CIO method- especially when she is so young, but she basically is already doing that method while being held. I've tried just putting her in her crib to see what happens and even when letting her go for 15 minutes, the screaming continues.
Anyone experience something similar with their babies? I don't mind the rocking, but when she acts like I'm torturing her, it's a little hard to take. I've tried rocking her in the cradle position, up on my shoulder, in the football hold, etc, etc.
I'm out of ideas and out of patience.
PS. I still love her. Lots. Otherwise I would just put her in the crib and turn up the headphones.
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Sister Lockard 2.0!
2 months ago
10 comments:
oh no ... i'm the first to comment ... and it's only because i just kicked my own babies out of my bed and can't sleep! (i'm not a big fan of crying it out ... but i did it - don't think less of me) i remember vividly this scene with my first baby. my mom always told me to swaddle them tight and sing ... i also remember sitting on the couch having nursed, rocked, sung my last song ... deciding to cry too. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!! the daddy was the rescue boat for me. he would walk the short 5 ft hallway talking to her and explaining that it was time to sleep ... and inevitably she would obey. although ... you do have another option - there are some of us that would LOVE to come over in the middle of the night and hold a crying baby so that a momma can sleep! do i need to give you my cell phone number? i keep it by my bed for just such an occasion! this is not an empty offer ... i'm serious! you might get me in my PJs but i'll come!! my mom was my saving grace and until my babies grow up and have babies ... i'm free!!
Well, the first thing I have to say is take Emily up on her offer. :) I think that she gave you some great advice.
The biggest difference that I see between holding Fiona while she cries and just putting her in her bed is that you're there holding her. So, even if she's screaming, she's learning that someone is there at least trying to comfort her.
I tend to think there might be an underlying cause. For example, does Fiona have reflux or something that's causing her discomfort? If she's arching her back and spitting up a lot in general, this could be the case. So, it might be worth mentioning to her pediatrician. Or, is she over tired and just not able to fall asleep.
There are 2 great books I'll mention that could help. The first is what I've used with my kids: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I like this one because the author gives options if you don't want to just let them cry. I have it if you want to borrow it. The other helpful info is in "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It's a method (with underlying principles) of calming your child. I've only seen it once, so I don't remember it all, but I've used what I do remember and it has worked with my kids.
Good luck! There is nothing more frustrating than not being able to calm your child.
Thanks for your comments! The nice thing is that once we finally get her to sleep, she usually stays asleep. Amanda...I love Happiest Baby on the Block- it has been my bible and worked beautifully for the first three months. Especially the swaddling and white noise. Whenever she would cry, I would turn on the vaccuum and the crying would stop instantly. That has changed and the noise doesn't seem to make a difference anymore. We do, however, still swaddle because it seems to help her stay to sleep longer, although it doesn't really help her go to sleep. Nonetheless, we swaddle, rock, sing, and the screamining persists.
I do think you might be on to something with the reflux. She spits up a ton and the doctor has prescribed zantac that seems to help with this. She's got an appointment tomorrow, so maybe we can get to the bottom of this.
Emily, your offer is so sweet. The bad news for you is that I might just take you up on it. The good news is that is really doesn't go too late in the night. Usually she's worn out by 11:30 and gives up and goes to sleep.
It wouldn't be so bad if I just had to do this once at her bedtime at night, but it's the same thing every single time I put her down for a nap as well...screaming and rocking.
At least I'm getting my exercise!
It really helped with Carmen to put her down in her bed while she was awake and happy. She learned to like her bed that way and she would just drift off to sleep, but I wasn't successful with my boys. Eric had to cry it out and I think it had everything to do with his reflux. He was on medicine, but I don't think it gave him 100% relief. As he got older, he wanted to be put down in bed, but he would wake up a couple hours later and be up every hour or two all night.
Good news, twenty years it won't matter.
I was told you kids had colic. One suggestion was to place you on a hot water bottle tummy-down. A heating pad might be okay if you don't electrocute or burn her.
I agree, Fiona could also have reflux, but either way, I would check with the doctor. She probably hears the same sad story over and over.
It is a hard time for Mom, Dad AND baby. So sorry sweetie.
(Have you considered having Rick give her a blessing?)
If it is reflux it would be best to get in the habit of feeding, awake time then sleeping, then feeding again when she wakes up. That was the schedule we did with MG b/c her reflux was so bad. As soon as she'd wake I'd feed her and then I'd have to keep her upright at least for an hour. Then it was usually time for nap time again. I'm sorry this is no fun at all for you! Follow your mommy gut... you'll know what to do!
We did the Sleep Sense Program wich I downloaded off the internet. Gavin was 6 months old and still waking up 5 times a night. It was around $40 bucks to download but sooo worth it. It does crying it out but with a twist. It took about a month for Gavin to finally sleep all night but thanks to the program he will sleep anywhere now all night long. I can even put him down for a morning nap before church and he'll go right to sleep. It was the best book I've ever read!
My babies all had a soft favorite blanket that had to be nuzzled right to the side of their face. They knew that once I got that blanket out it was bed time. Brooklyn still sleeps with her blanket today so does Weston.
Hope your able to get some sleep soon, getting a good night sleep makes such a difference for the next day. Hang in there!
Harrison is only 7 months so take my advice with a grain of salt! He always needed rocking (via rocking chair, swing or me pacing the halls). At his day care, to remedy this dependence they put the babies in a boucy seat that vibrates and place that inside the crib while they are awake. It usually keeps them calm and they are either in there happy (so they learn to associate good things with the crib) or they fall asleep. This is a gradual transition and they certainly spent time rocking as well but it seemed like a brilliant idea to me since the still crib by itself is everything mommy and swing like devices are not.
We also swaddled Harrison until almost 6 months... he was sleeping about 6-7 hour stints and then we decided he was too old to swaddle so we set him free. Now he still wakes up once a night so he is definitely still a work in progress.
I also liked the idea about not feeding her before she sleeps since reflux may be an issue.
If he just couldn't stay asleep and we were tired, we would usually cave in and bring him in bed with us since he seemed to sleep fine if we were right nect time him with a hand on his tummy. We stopped doing that and after a few weeks he didn't "need" us anymore and does well in his crib by himself... i think he learned to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up alone.
Good luck! Why is sleep always so hard with babies!?!
i said this on facebook too -
the no cry sleep solution is a great book my pediatrician rec'd when i was going crazy with noah when he wouldn't sleep. i teaches you how to nurse them but make them fall asleep on their own. very cool.
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