Our Story: One More Contestant

Throughout the process of screening guys and going on dates, I found that my mind (and my feet) kept wandering back to Rick. I was a little confused about my feelings (I was still technically in a relationship with someone else) and was a little hestitant to do anything rash.

Even with my hestitance, I couldn't help myself. All I knew was that I loved his company, and when I was around him, I was happier. But, I still wasn't sure how he felt about me.

One night, after I had gone back to my apartment for the evening, there was a knock at my door. Dan, Rick's roommate, informed me that they had a suprise for me. They led me to their apartment. Dave was there with his guitar and Rick proceeded to sing me a song he had written for me. It was to the melody of "Back at One" by Brain McKnight. Rick actually hated this song, but it was kind of an inside joke between us. These were the lyrics...

Anna Marie, Outta 100, You're 103
Anna Marie, You're better than vitamin C

One: Your like double mint chew
Two: I wanna eat artichokes with you
Three: I'm trying to see if you want to screen with me
Four: Repeat steps one through three
Five: Wanna study chemistry.

Whenever I believe my work is done
I start again at one
Girl, you got a lot of heart
Wow, you can really blue dart
Whenever I see that flame emerge
My heart begins to surge.
Anna Marie

The perfomance was really funny and sweet. But, I wasn't sure if they were just doing it for laughs, or if that meant Rick liked me.

Not too long after this, I told Tyler (the other panel member in our screening process) that I wanted to screen Rick. We made up a story to Rick about me meeting a guy on campus that I wanted to screen. Rick and Tyler came over at the appointed time. After a bit, Rick looked around and asked where the guy was that was going to be screened. I said, "It's you."

It seemed fitting to assign Rick the #1

Rick went through the most rigorous screening yet. He had to put on a dress. He had to paint his toenails. He had to perform a stupid human trick which inspired him to shove his finger up his nose until it bled. He got the best score of them all.

Of course, I still have his scoresheet. Here is how Rick's total points were broken down and some of the comments I gave him:

In Touch With Your Feminine Side: 9.5
Manliness: 10 (I love my name in a burp)
Gospel Devotion: 9.5
Taste: 8.5 (grape is the correct slurpee flavor)
Chivalry: Freakin 10 (he must have done something good for this, but I don't remember what)
Humor: 9.5
Rico Suave: 9
Hygeine: 10 (you could eat off those freakin' ears)
Freckles: 10 (in all the right places)
Hiney: 8 (too hidden)

Sub Total: 93%

Extra Credit- Horsemanship: 5 (I added a note saying "That was the ride of my life" Apparently not because I don't remember this ride.)

Grand Total: 98%

For some reason, Rick and whoever his cohorts decided that I needed to be screened to even the score. Whatever. A few days after Rick's screening, I got a call from his "secretary" letting me know that I was going to be screened. When I showed up his apartment was FULL of people. Everyone I ever screened, plus pretty much everybody in our apartment complex. They tried their best to grill me, but of course I showed only charm and grace. Mostly.

I don't remember too much about the screening, but I do believe that at one point I took off my shoe and threw it at Rick. Also, they had me stand on a chair and do a bootie dance.
Of course, I saved my score sheet. Here are my points and his comments...

Spirituality: 9.5 (memorize the scripture reference)
Sportinessness: 10
Taste: 9.5
Humor: 9.5
Sensitivity: 9
Forwardness: 10
Fashion: 10 (lookinng freakin' good in a hat)
Hiney: 1o (shake your booty)
Creativity 10
Domestic Abilities 9.5

Sub Total: 97%

Temper: -1 (Keep your shoes on)
Extra Frickin' Credit: 3 (Dance it up, chili time.) ( I don't remember what that means)

Grand Total: 99%

Notice: I got a higher score than anyone I ever screened, even with my negative point. Why? Because I'm the bomb.

This was the end of the screenings. How can you top this?