Cake Pops Revealed

After numerous requests, I have finally decided to give some step-by-step instructions detailing how to make cake pops. Or, you could bypass my instructions and go to bakerella.com, because she is the true genius behind them. At least I stand as proof that an idiot can make them.

First, you bake a cake, chocolate, preferably. I went with Duncan Hines Devil's Food because I got it for 50 cents thanks to my mad couponing skills.

If your cake turns out scary like mine, you might be tempted to bag the whole thing. It might be easier to just go to the store and by some Ding Dongs. While those are delicious, the effort of the cake pops is totally worth it.

Am I the only one that can take a simple boxed cake mix and turn it into a mess? I'm going to blame it on my 4-year-old assistant.

Once your cake completely cools, break it up and put it in a large bowl.

Next take a can of cream cheese frosting...

And mix it with the the cake until it's completely combined.

After a while, you will realize that this is a complete pain in the rear.

If you are anything like me, you will give up and use your hands. You will also wash your hands first.

Are you still with me? I know, they don't even look appetizing anymore. I'm sorry.

Anyway, then you take them and roll them into the shape of a ball. My balls are encroaching on perfection. I'm not even sure what encroaching means.

Then, place all the balls on a tray/plate/whatever and put them in the freezer. I didn't take a picture of this, but I trust you can figure this out on your own.

In the meantime, get some chocolate out for dipping. I use 3 bags of milk chocolate chips. You can use chocolate bark or broken up candy bars or whatever. Just try not to eat too much in the process because then you won't have enough for dipping. Not that this has ever happened to me.

I use a make-shift double boiler when I melt my chocolate. It doesn't burn the chocolate like the microwave does. Plus, the chocolate stays nice and warm throughout the entire dipping process. Continually having to microwave it to warm it back up is a total drag.

For my double boiler, I fill a saucepan with water and put a glass bowl directly on top of it. A metal bowl would work well too. I usually put the temperature on medium-low and then once the chocolate chips melt, I turn it down to low.

Next, I get my trusty 6 inch lollipop sticks. Instead of doing these on sticks, you could just drop them onto wax paper, but we all know that everything tastes better on a stick.

Once your cake balls are starting to get hard (but not completely frozen) take them out of the freezer and start dipping. In case you are questioning my methods, the cake balls stay on the stick better when they are partially frozen. Otherwise they slide off and make a mess. Once they defrost, the chocolate will be set, so falling off later on isn't much of a worry.

Before I put the ball on the stick, I dip it in the chocolate just a bit. This helps with everything staying where it should be.

Next, put the ball on the stick. Not too far because you don't want it to punch through.

Now you start dipping. Don't get to crazy while the ball is in the chocolate because you don't want it to fall off the stick. I usually use a spoon to guide the chocolate onto the ball.


Once the ball is completely coated, gently shake it over the pan to remove any excess chocolate.

Next, put the pop into styrofoam while the chocolate sets. Also if you want to get fancy, you can put sprinkles or something on it. You will need to work fast with the sprinkles because the chocolate cools quickly since the balls were frozen-ish.

At this point, everybody in the house will be endlessly begging you to have a taste. Gwen liked them well enough, but she insisted that whipped cream would make them better.

Once the chocolate has completely hardened, put a little bag over it. I got mine at Michael's.

And finish it off with a ribbon or whatever suits your fancy.

You're done! Now you can either hide in your closet and eat them all yourself, or you can put them in a cute basket and deliver them to well-deserving friends and family.